THE 19 FUNNIEST WRITER’S NAMES IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD

We discussed here a few weeks ago why it is sometimes a good idea to use a pen name.

Here are some more good reasons.

I knew you’d think I was making these up so here they are, complete with Amazon links, the 19 funniest names for writers in the history of the world.

19. FILIBERTO VAGINA d’EMARESE

Being born in the 19th century is no excuse. Books live forever. Even one with a title as gripping as Dei primi elementi dell’economia politica secondo i progressi della scienza libri quattro … con aggiunta d’una memoria sui vantaggi resultanti dalla coltura dei publici pascol.

18. BANANA YOSHIMOTO

She has, of course, written a whole bunch of books.

It’s a pen name. Is it silly or a work of marketing genius? You decide.

17. RENE-JEAN PALAPRAT de BIGOT

Wonderful name. But where would he get filed in the Dewey system?

16. MODY COGGIN BOATRIGHT

Brilliant work by the parents in this case. Not a big fan of the covers though.

15. JOHN HARDON

This is kind of obvious. I’m absolutely sure it’s his real name and I mean no disrespect.

But John, are you sure - I mean, the clergy already have an image problem - that you wouldn’t prefer to use a pseudonym?

14. ARSEN DIKLIC

This sounds like college humour but its just a case of a name not translating very well into another language.

13. ALEXANDRE FARTO

Same for this one. Alexandre is a very serious artist exploring very serious subjects with a name that may sound elevated in his native Portuguese but is very distracting for English speakers. Did his publishers not realize this and warn him?

12. BRIGITTE FUX

It’s a book about flowers.

11. HENRIETTE HORNY

She sounds like she writes fifty shades of Pythagoras but she actually writes Geometry books.

10. MILDRED MOODY NUTTER

And she has a five star review! Is it for her name or her genealogy?

9. PAMELA BALLS ORGANISTA

I imagine the psychology of some ethnic groups would be sorely tested by having to keep repeating their names over the telephone.

8. MU-CHOU POO

But what would Confucius say?

7. J. J. FOUQUEAU de PUSSY

Seriously?

6. ARNOLDUS SCHYTTE BLIX

I’d be schytting blix too if I was carrying a live polar bear.

5. NEGLEY KING TEETERS

He’s from the last century. Is that any reason to sound like a burlesque act?

4. COLONEL NIT TONGSOPIT

You can imagine how the conversation goes. “Why has our teacher got such a strange name, Negley?” “I don’t know, Arnoldus, do you think it’s because he’s from Thailand?”

3. GERALD BASTARD

It sounds like the cover should have a shirtless guy holding a whip and a busty girl in a torn dress in the background. But I guess it’s hard to justify it with a title like Wave Mechanics Applied to Semiconductor Heterostructures

2. HELEN KNISELY BONK

A lively name for a very dull subject.

And the clear winner is …

1. LUDWIG VON BALDASS

Blatant self promotion.

Why this guy’s not a best seller I’ll never know.

IT’S JUST AN ORDINARY NAME BUT BOOKLIST THOUGHT IT WAS A MEMORABLE BOOK:

‘Spectacular historical fiction blazing with intrigue, romance and dramatic action’

READ THE STORY OF CLEOPATRA OR SEE THE KINDLE VERSION HERE. IT’S ALSO AVAILABLE ON BARNES AND NOBLE, KOBO AND APPLE.

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COLIN FALCONER