THE TOP 10 BESTSELLERS YOU NEVER HEARD OF

1. TRIMALCHIO IN WEST EGG - F Scott Fitzgerald
2. ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL - Leo Tolstoy
3. WHACKING OFF - Phillip Roth
4. THEY DON’T BUILD STATUES TO BUSINESSMEN - Jacqueline Susann
5. FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OF LIES, STUPIDITY AND COWARDICE - Adolf Hitler
6. TOTE THE WEARY LOAD - Margaret Mitchell
7. WHAT’S THAT NOSHIN’ ON MY LAIG? - Peter Benchley
8. WHO’S AFRAID OF FRANZ KAFKA - Edward Albee
9. STRANGER FROM WITHIN - William Golding
10. CATCH 11 - Joseph Heller.

You never heard of any of these books because they were all published under another title. I guess this is why publishing houses have editors! But how did these books finally go out to face the world?

#1: THE GREAT GATSBY:

Fitzgerald may have spent more time deciding on a title than writing his landmark book. He actually wanted to call it ‘Trimalchio in West Egg’ - Trimalchio is a character in the Satyricon famous for hosting showy parties and orgies and West Egg is the place on Long Island where the book was set.

His publisher persuaded him that the reference was too obscure and no one would be able to pronounce it anyway. Fitzgerald then toyed with: ‘On the Road to West Egg’ and ‘The High Bouncing Lover.’

His wife and his publisher finally persuaded him to change it to ‘The Great Gatsby.’ But even a month before publication Fitzgerald was still agitating for ‘Trimalchio’ or even ‘The Gold Hatted Gatsby’ When it was published in April, 1925 Fitzgerald was still not pleased: “… the title is only fair, rather bad than good”.

Moral: if you won’t listen to your publisher, listen to your wife.

#2 WAR AND PEACE:

Tolstoy’s masterwork is the seventh longest novel ever written; so when he had the idea for ‘Alls Well that Ends Well’ he may have been wondering whether he would ever finish it at all. In fact it was first published under that title but was changed for its second printing. Perhaps Shakespeare’s lawyers complained?

#3 PORTNOY’S COMPLAINT:

Philip Roth’s most famous novel went through various incarnations first as The Jewboy, then Whacking off, because of its candid depictions of masturbation that had it banned in many US libraries on its eventual release. The book earned him both stardom and notoriety.

4. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

Jaqueline Susann’s 1966 ‘faction’ about Hollywood was the first novel of its kind by a female author to break out, selling a staggering 30 million copies. The ‘dolls’ of the title is a contemporary slang term for barbiturate pills used to aid sleep. Would it have sold 30 million under its original title?

5. MEIN KAMPF

When Hitler published his opus under this title he was able to buy a Mercedes with the royalties while still in prison. He also ran up a huge tax bill which was generously waived by the country’s tax authorities when he became Fuhrer. When you head the Nazi party you don’t need a smart accountant.

#6. GONE WITH THE WIND:

Margaret Mitchell’s master work went through a number of working titles, including ‘Tote the Weary Load,’ ‘Mules in Horse Harness,’ ‘Bugles Sang True,’ ‘Tomorrow is Another Day’ and even ‘Ba! Ba! Black Sheep.’ Would it have become one of the great romantic epics with any of those titles? I doubt it.

‘Gone with the Wind’ was derived from an Ernest Dowson poem:

I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind/ Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng, / Dancing, to put thy/ pale, lost lilies out of mind.

Another oh no! moment: Scarlett was called Pansy through many of the book’s early drafts. Thank God sanity prevailed and Pansy O’Hara survives now only in that alternate literary universe alongside Gavin Bond and Candy Karenina.

#7 JAWS:

This is hard to believe but true; Peter Benchley’s original intention was to write a funny novel about a shark eating people. His father suggested the working title above. When Benchley realized (he had to think about this?) that sharks eating people was not remotely funny, he turned it into a thriller.

Over 200 titles were considered, including: The Summer of the Shark, and The Terror of the Monster. ‘Jaws’ was a compromise between Benchley and his Doubleday editor 20 minutes before the MS was due to go to press.

As Benchley put it: “ My father didn’t like it, my agent didn’t like it, my wife didn’t like it, and I didn’t much like it. But the bottom line was, who cares? Nobody reads first novels anyway.”

#8. WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOLF?

This is, of course, not a novel but a play. Albee’s controversial Broadway hit underwent a title change when it opened in then-communist Czechoslovakia in 1964. It signalled a rehabilitation of the memory and reputation of the Prague born novelist Franz Kafka, who had previously been condemned for “degenerate individualism.”

#9 LORD OF THE FLIES:

William Golding’s first novel was discovered in Faber and Faber’s slush pile in 1953. It was not a success initially and only sold 3000 copies before going out of print. But by the early sixties it had become a bestseller and was required reading most British schools.

#10 CATCH-22

Heller’s most famous novel is named after a fictional bureaucratic stipulation which embodies illogical and immoral reasoning. It was originally Catch-18 but it was changed so that it would not be confused with Leon Uris’ recently published Mila 18. Heller then tried Catch-11, but because of the original 1960 movie Ocean’s 11 this was rejected, as was Catch-17 so it would not be confused with another movie, Stalag 17. Catch-14 was rejected because the publisher did not feel that 14 was a ‘funny number.’ Heller found himself in the strange position of running out of numbers but they finally they all settled on Catch-22. Apparently 22 is funnier than 14 - go figure. As Oceans 11 is now up to Oceans 13, it means they have to film just nine more sequels before they’ll have to skip Oceans 22 so it won’t be confused with Heller’s novel. He would love that.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5C-N-xmT44&w=420&h=315]

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