SEX, DEATH AND THE MEANING OF LIFE

Photograph: Jonund

Writers think a lot about two things: sex and death.

It’s very rare that you can write a book without talking about one or both, unless you’re Jamie Oliver.

Questions of life and love possess most fictional characters; it’s the very nature of story.

Take some imaginary people, who may or may not be quite that imaginary, and threaten them with sex or death or both.

What do they do?

What would you do?

My good friend Eli Best knows more about death than I ever will. She walked the line many times in her young life.

I only had that choice once. It was about ten years ago, I was in Thailand, and I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling pretty ordinary. I thought I had flu.

Next day I caught a ferry back to the mainland and by the time I got to my hotel I was in a seriously bad way.

It was a real low point in my life. I went back to my room and lay down on the bed, thinking how easy it would be just to take a couple of aspirin and go to sleep. Who gives a damn, right?

But something told me that would be a mistake.

Okay, I might be feeling screwed right now. But did I really want out? I asked myself a few questions as I lay on the bed.

I figure those questions apply to any time in your life, whether you’re 18 or 118, because - well, you just never know. The day before I’d been diving with lemon sharks and partying on a tropical island. Death had seemed forever away.

Here’s the questions.

Dare to try them out on yourself?

1. Now it’s all over, what do you want to be remembered for? This is your elevator pitch to God or Saint Peter or the Ferryman … whomever. “This is a man/woman who … ” There you go. Fill it out for yourself. What does it say?

2. Let your life flash before your eyes. What is your outstanding childhood memory? Name just one. One! Is it happy or sad? How did it affect your life? “It made me believe that … ” Finish that sentence. Did the answer surprise you?

3. There’s ten people in a room, and you know them all. Name them! (None of them can be your children!) A man walks in with a gun and starts shooting. Who do you stand in front of? You can only stand in front of one person. Who is it? Does the answer surprise you?

4. What is it that you’re afraid of that has held you back in life? Say it out loud: “I have let … hold me back.” There, doesn’t that feel better? You have just summoned the demon. Look him in the eye.

5. Name the person in your life who makes you like yourself the most - and the person who makes you feel the worst about yourself. Who are they? Does THAT answer surprise you?

6. Who was your greatest mentor, the person you have respected and learned from the most? Make a call/write an email and thank them before it’s too late.

7. What did it all mean? What has the day to day of your life taught you about the greater plan - (no, not anything you learned from a religion or from a philosophy book.) What did it all mean to you?

The answer to question 1 dragged me off that bed (my daughters - I would yet like to be remembered as a good father). I’m still working on some of the other answers.

I got myself into a taxi, went to the international hospital, lay down on a gurney in emergency and passed out. When I woke up 24 hours later the doctor said I had got there just in time.

So God, spooky little voice in the head, whatever … thanks for that.

Because even though I felt desperate and black and lonely, you were right, life actually did get better from there. If I’d stayed on that bed I would never have got to work on the rest of those questions. (Still am.)

And I wouldn’t have got to walk the camino with Eli …

“ … a gripping tale of endurance laced with heartache and wry humour …” Sun Herald

“ …their courage and honesty in facing their demons makes this book a compelling read …” Woman’s Day

“ …by any measure this is a remarkable, painful, illuminating and inspiring book …” The Sydney Morning Herald

LAST MONTH I GAVE AWAY ‘THE YEAR WE SEIZED THE DAY’ TO 6 OF MY NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS.

I GIVE AWAY FREE BOOKS EVERY MONTH SO WHY NOT BECOME A SUBSCRIBER TO?

JOIN HERE!!

COLIN FALCONER

PS If I thought I had troubles before …

The hospital was full so they put me in a ward full of ladyboys waiting for The Operation.

I was in that ward for 10 days.

But that’s another story …