International Best Seller Colin Falconer

stories of romance and epic adventure

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THE JOYS OF RESEARCH #2: SIBERIA. MIDNIGHT. JUST YOUR PAJAMAS.

So this time it was the Trans Siberian Express from Moscow to Vladivostock. Photo: Jim LinwoodWe had got as far as the tundra and so far no one had thrown up in the dining car. Things were looking good.

There were four people in our cabin; a Dutchman, well into his sixties; a young English bloke; and us. The Dutch guy was very quiet and kept himself to himself, sitting on his bunk, staring out of the window or reading paperback.

Late one night, somewhere in Siberia, we pulled into a train station. I sat up. The Dutch guy got out of his bunk, put on his dressing gown, and said we seemed to be stopping for a while and that he was going to stretch his legs. The others were still asleep.

After a while I dozed off again, too.

photo: Jim LinwoodWhen I woke we were rattling away again, the vast tundra stretching out either side. The Dutch guy - never did find out his name - was not in his bunk. Wonder where he went? Must be in the dining car.

As the morning passed and he didn’t come back from breakfast, we started wondering aloud where he was. We asked questions of other passengers. Finally we told the conductor, who organised a search.

He was no longer on the train. But is passport was still in backpack. So were his wallet and all his credit cards.

Bugger.

Dutch train passengers outside the Netherlands Consulate in Omsk

Dutch train passengers outside the Netherlands Consulate in Omsk

Never did find out what happened to him. Sometimes I imagine him standing on a deserted train station, in the middle of the vast tundra wastes, in his paisley dressing gown and slippers, waiting for the next train and nervously eying the wolves watching him from the end of the platform.

Or toiling in a windswept prison farm, somewhere near Omsk, eating gruel and tearing at a moldy hunk of stale bread with frost-blackened fingers.

How did he miss the train? I’ll never know.

But at least the story had a happy ending. He left behind some rather tasty poffertjes in his backpack. They were delicious.

FRIDAY: the joys of research #3: DOGS ON A TRAIN

Silk Road, Colin Falconer, Genghis Khan

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CB Valencia croppedCOLIN FALCONER

 

 

the joys of research #1: BIG CHUCK IN LITTLE CHINA

photo: jan reurink

photo: jan reurink

I was finishing the research for SILK ROAD. We were on a train from Xian to Kashgar, three days that would take us south of the Great Wall, skirt the Taklimakan desert and on towards the Pamir Mountains and the distant Stans - Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Afghanistan.

It was dinner time. We went into the dining car and sat down. The menu was in Mandarin, of course, but never mind, once we saw something we liked on another table we would just point.

We looked around. There was nothing that didn’t look like gristle floating in fat.

"So who's turn to throw up and who's turn to mop?"

“So who’s turn to throw up and who’s turn to mop?”

So we ordered two beers while we thought about it. The beers came warm, in a big wooden bowl.

Okay, never had beer that way before. Something new.

The guy sitting at the table in front of us stood up and patted his belly with both hands. Wow, he must have enjoyed whatever he had.

Or maybe not so much.

Because next thing, he projectile vomited down the aisle of the dining car. It hit the door behind us like pellets out of a shotgun. There was a stunned silence.

The chef is informed his services are no longer required

The chef is informed his services are no longer required

The guy nodded and walked out. The waitresses ran up with a cloth and a bucket of water and gave them to his wife. She then got down on her hands and knees and started mopping up after him.

We finished our beers. The waitress came over and pointed to the menu. We shook our heads. What’s: ‘Thanks but we’ve lost our appetite,’ in Mandarin?

We lived on biscuits and chocolate bars the next three days. Never mind, when we got to Kashgar, things were bound to get better.

We reached our hotel. There was a tourist standing outside.

We waved. He leaned over and threw up.

Welcome to the world of research.

Wednesday: The Joys of Research #2. Why not to get off a train in Siberia in the middle of the night.

Silk Road, Colin Falconer, Genghis Khan

EVERY MONTH YOU COULD WIN A COPY OF ONE OF MY BOOKS!

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CB Valencia croppedCOLIN FALCONER

 

 

 

 

HITLER AND SELF PUBLISHING

Adolf Hitler tries his hand at self publishing.

Just a warning - his language is terrible.

self-publishing,

COLIN FALCONER

The Pyramid of Needs - for Travellers

Just got back from a research trip overseas.

This is what I learned, with apologies to Maslow and his concept of the Pyramid of Needs - the most basic, of course, being at the bottom:

Maslow_hierarchy_of_needs2

 

 

 

What is the future of story?

The following short clip is from an address that Kevin Spacey made to the Edinburgh International Television Festival; he talks about the future of story, about how stories are being delivered, and about the importance of listening to the people who want them.

What do the changes in television have to do with writing fiction and the future of our industry? Everything, I believe.

The future is not coming. It’s here.

My latest novel, EAST INDIA, was published on 11 July!

Described by one critic as ‘Jack and Rose in the seventeenth century’, East India is a story of romance, courage and survival in the face of overwhelming odds.

If you’d like to win a free copy for your Kindle, Kobo or iPad just click here and join my newsletter subscription today!!

CB Valencia croppedCOLIN FALCONER

THE 10 TOP HISTORICAL MOVIE MISTAKES

When you make a movie for the big screen, you’re allowed to completely rewrite history, apparently.

A lot of people like Braveheart, for instance. I wonder though if we could have liked it just as well without the kilts, and William Wallace not having an affair with Isabella of France, because he didn’t and she was only three years old at the time.

The mistakes they make in movies you’d never get away with in a novel, (mumbles something about tomatoes.)

HERE ARE TEN OF THE BIGGEST HISTORICAL MOVIE MISTAKES EVER

When you watch a movie, how important is historical accuracy to you? And do you have different standards for a novel??

Here’s the story of the man Isabella really did have an affair with …

She was taught to obey. Now she has learned to rebel.

12 year old Isabella, a French princess marries the King of England - only to discover he has a terrible secret.

Ten long years later she is in utter despair - does she submit to a lifetime of solitude and a spiritual death - or seize her destiny and take the throne of England for herself?

This is the story of Isabella, the only woman ever to invade England - and win.

 

 

“This is phenomenal historical fiction that is highly recommended. Once you read Colin Falconer, you’ll want to read everything he has ever written as well as what he will craft in the future!” - Crystal Book Reviews

WHY I HATE AN AUTHOR CALLED ALEXANDER COLE

Let’s get one thing straight about my feelings around Alexander Cole.

It’s nothing personal.

I’m sure he’s a very nice bloke deep down. At least I hope so.

He’s me.

CB Valencia cropped

the irritating Alexander Cole

But boy, he drives me nuts. Because I don’t want to be him. I was basically forced into being Alexander Cole.

Why? Continue reading

THE REAL CLEOPATRA. or, as she’s better known, ELIZABETH TAYLOR

Few women in history have captured popular imagination like the last pharaoh of the Ptolemy dynasty of Egypt - Cleopatra.

Yet so much of what we know - or think we know - about her is informed by legend, myth - and Elizabeth Taylor.

For instance, many historians have suggested she had a fair complexion, that she was possibly even blonde.

Yet, ask anyone in the street and they will tell you: she was a brunette with a bob!

 

Cleopatra, Julius Caesar, Marc Antony

Continue reading

ARE THESE THE WORST 12 OPENING LINES EVER?

1. “She strutted into my office wearing a dress that clung to her 
like Saran Wrap to a sloppily butchered pork knuckle, bone and sinew
 jutting and lurching asymmetrically beneath its folds, the 
tightness exaggerating the granularity of the suet and causing what
 little palatable meat there was to sweat, its transparency the 
thief of imagination.”
- Chris Wieloch

No? Perhaps you’re not into detective fiction. Try a love story:

 2. “As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, 
wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny
 deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum 
therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, 
causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the
 soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.”
 — Cathy Bryant

Not bad. But perhaps a metaphor is better: Continue reading

THE BEST 43 OPENING LINES IN NOVEL WRITING HISTORY

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover.

best opening lines, Hemingway, Dickens, Austen, novelA good cover may make us pick the book up and think about buying it.

But it’s the first lines are crucial in helping us decide whether we are going to keep reading or not.

For my own part, I’ve read plenty of good books whose first lines I don’t remember.

I even tore out the first three pages of one of my favorite novels - The Poisonwood Bible - when I came to re-read it. (Thank God I persisted that first time. )

But all in all, you can never underestimate the power of a good opening line.

Here are 43 of the best in Literature: Continue reading

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